Time to Get a Grip

Oh Roberta
I don't look for you in other people
Like I used to do, that's dangerous
and my soul needs a rest...

-- Slaid Cleaves, "Oh Roberta"

I'm amazed, sometimes, by the way bad habits and poor decisions can pile up on one another, snowballing into one big, bad ball of unhealthiness. One bad decision begets another, and once you've gone down the path there's no stopping yourself. I saw it in my eyes this morning, after another late night of high emotions, heavy drinking, and barely three hours sleep. Or, rather, in the dark circles under my eyes. It's time for a rest.

There's been too many late nights, too many hefty bar tabs, too many cigarettes smoked (I've about crossed that line where calling myself a 'non-smoker' is a tad hypocritical) and unhealthy meals consumed. I'm a master of justification -- whether I'm celebrating a triumph or drowning a sorrow, I've always had a good reason, lately, to make the unhealthy choice.

I'm headed home for a family vacation this Friday, and I simply cannot wait. My mind is ready to leave all these stresses and worries behind in Boston for a few days, and my body is ready for a retreat. I'm looking forward to days spent lying on a hammock in the woods, swimming in rivers and hiking through forests. Cooking s'mores and reconnecting with my family.

I'm ready to rest my soul and recharge my brain. Figure some things out. It's time to start making smart decisions again.