You Can Write, But You Can't...Edit

(The title, by the way, is a lyric from a song on the new Regina Spektor album that I can't stop listening to...and I think it's got to be one of the best snarky comments ever. Well, at least to a nerd like me.)

I know I'm a little more psychotic about grammar than most people. I understand that not everyone is as obsessive about comma placement as I am (comma placement being my absolute biggest pet peeve of all the frequently broken rules of writing in the English language). I try hard (though frequently fail) not to be too terribly judgement of people just because they haven't studied Strunk&White quite as carefully as I have. And I certainly know I'm not perfect. (I'm sure if someone wanted to be terribly obstinate and prickly, he or she could go through this posting and point out all the instances in which I've messed up a rule.)

But I figure if you're going to pay someone to write for you, they ought to at the very least get the basics down.

For example, compound sentences. I think if you're going to pay someone for their writing, they ought to be able to master compound sentences and all the associated rules.

On the T last night, I saw a print MBTA ad that said something along the lines of this:

"Please limit your cell phone usage, loud conversations can be disturbing to others" [sic].

I mean, c'mon. You don't join together two complete sentences with a comma. Use a semi-colon! Or, if that's a little to eccentric for a print ad, break it up into two sentences. Or toss in a "because" and take out the comma altogether. Who did they hire to draft their ad copy?

So, because I am indeed an anal-retentive grump when it comes to punctuation, I figured I would offer the MBTA a gentle suggestion: hire a goddamn proofreader. In fact, I even suggested they consider hiring me.

Dear MBTA,

I wanted to suggest that the MBTA consider hiring a proofreader to double-check your advertisements before you post them. (Or, if you contract with an outside agency, you should really consider finding a new one.)

Last night on the Orange Line I saw an ad that said something along the lines of "Please limit your cell phone usage, loud conversations can be disturbing to others" [sic]. It's grammatically incorrect to join together two complete sentences with a comma. In that case, one would either use a semi-colon or simply break it into two separate sentences.

I hate to sound like an anal-retentive grump here, but I imagine the MBTA pays good tax money to put these ads together, and it seems at the very least they could be proofread. Schoolchildren and people learning English as a second language ride the T every day. Why put ads with poor grammar in front of them?

Thanks for your attention to this matter. If the T is looking for a proofreader, I am happy to offer my services at a reasonable rate.

Best,
Melissa

I'll let you know if they respond.